VIDEO – Finger Eleven – " Paralyzer"

Wow. I’m a sucker for most videos with dancing, but Barnaby Roper’s video for Finger Eleven’s “Paralyzer” really got to me. I particularly love how the dancers appear out of nowhere behind the slick couple. It’s a sad shame this Canadian band sucks ass.

I recently recognized them as the same band that released the most atrocious (and my most hated) song of late, “One Thing.” It’s horrible like a bad dream – repetitive, monotone, droning and dull (my nightmares usually involve doing taxes). “Paralyzer” exhibits none of these characteristics, and suffers only from mediocre songwriting. Allow me this dissection:


I hold on so nervously
To me and my drink [cliché alcohol reference]
I wish it was cooling me
But so far has not been good
It’s been shitty [eloquent]
And I feel awkward as I should
This club has got to be
The most pretentious thing
Since I thought you and me [not a sentence]
Well I am imagining
A dark lit place
Or your place or my place [passive-aggression isn’t attractive]

Well I’m not paralyzed
But I seem to be struck by you [by far the best line in the song]
I wanna make you move
Because you’re standing still [a little awkward]
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you [lyrical grasping at straws]

I hold out for one more drink [second cliché alcohol reference]
Before I think
I’m looking too desperately
But so far has not been fun
I should just stay home
If one thing really means one [huh?]
This club will hopefully
Be closed in three weeks
That would be cool with me [doesn’t support local business]
Well I’m still imagining
A dark lit place
Or your place or my place [still can’t decide]

Catchy song. Shitty lyrics. Awesome video. And now here is something genius for the cleansing of your sullied musical palate…

Radiohead – “How to Disappear Completely” (Live)